Tour de Farce 2024

Hello! Sorry for such a delay in posting an update! It's been a busy few days driving around the route on the small roads of the Highlands following the riders.

After an eventful first day, the evening's award ceremony presented a twist of fate: co-organiser Phil dodged any plastic tax to emerge with the yellow jersey. This raised a few eyebrows at the ceremony when she was awarded the high-vis jacket (in place of a yellow jersey). We'll be keeping a close eye on her from now on.

Huw set a blistering pace on the mountain stage of the Ledmore Traverse winning himself a polka dot blouse in the Monarch of the Mountains category. The Ledmore Traverse pops up in every edition of the HT550 and it will raise a few eyebrows to know he ticked it off in a little over two hours. Most tackle this section at the end of the infamous northern loop which makes it much tougher going, rather than the first day of this four day event.

Despite breaking two eggs, Shell found time for a dramatic photo of his skinny dip, earning himself the Young at Heart/Spirit of the Race win 🦄 and the day's photo competition.

There were two egg tragedies 🥚 for which a minute's silence was observed, with only a handful of sniggers. Alice also managed to break the egg of another rider. Gail got absolutely hammered by the plastic tax due to a brain fart and frittata packet, she'll need to maximise on all the time bonuses to have any hope of moving up from last place on the leaderboard. It’ll be no surprise to learn that she has a full handlebar bag and Tailfin aeropack and small panniers, where did she ever fit all her sleeping kit?!

The plastic penalties and time bonuses for swimming and stopping for sit down food has meddled with the total times enough that riders have talked about a change of strategies to profit from these additional considerations. It’s all fun and games in the Highlands this weekend!

Riders are making their way to the end of the first morning, having left Inverness Youth Hostel on the only mass start of the event on their way to the west coast’s Achmelvich Hostel. Their route this morning passes trails familiar to the Highland Trail 550 veterans in the group and they're on their way through Alladale Estate towards the Oykel Bridge hotel from where they will then head west to meet the Ledmore ~Traverse~ Reverse for the first mountain stage. Those Highland Trailers will now be ~riding~ walking towards Lochinver instead of the opposite direction on the HT route. It’s doubtful to be any more rideable in this direction, but we shall see. They could of course take the road route around Ledmore for a five hour penalty. From Lochinver they will continue the short ride to Achmelvich, but their day is not done yet!

The fun of stage one will be the hunt for Hermit’s Castle in Achmelvich, the smallest castle in the world. As the title may suggest, it won’t be an easy one to find! They are encouraged to do it as quickly as possible as their time for the search will be included in their day’s total time. Or they can opt for the 90 minute penalty and settle into the evening in the hostel instead.

There will be no tracking for this event so the evening write ups and posts on the Adventure Syndicate’s Instagram will be the only way to follow along.

Route illustration by Phil Battye.

Like in the lesser known race, Le Tour de France, Le Tour de Farce is actually four races within a race.

The Yellow Jersey - General Classification Race

This is awarded daily to the rider with the lowest accumulated time over previous stages. The clock starts when you leave a hostel and stops when you reach the next hostel.

The Green Jersey - Sprint Race

The winner of this jersey will be decided on Stage Three and will involve a points-based mystery challenge the details of which will be revealed that morning.

The Polka Dot Jersey - Monarch of the Mountain

This is awarded daily to the rider with the lowest accumulated time through the set mountain sections and who has remembered to take time-stamped photos at the start and end of the section and a selfie at the highest point.

The White Jersey / Unicorn Headband - Best Young (at heart) Rider

This is awarded to the rider who best embodies the spirit of the race each day.

A race named the Tour de Farce would never be easy to explain in a succinct race preview, so bear with me. The race has been designed by the team behind the Adventure Syndicate as an antidote to the professionalisation of the sport and the focus on competition they’ve witnessed over the past few years, their offering allows riders to take from the event what they’re looking for whilst maintaining enough challenge alongside creativity and community.

Simply, it’s a four day on and off-road event riding from hostel to hostel each day. In execution, there are many more considerations for riders to take. Their total time will be their elapsed riding time with an array of penalties and bonuses added, which will be issued/awarded for a variety of reasons. As the registration tonight, riders have filled in their Rider Top Trumps sheets, which we’ll be sharing more of tomorrow, and contain questions to establish their privilege tax which is calculated on things such as how much their bike is worth, how many bikes they have to choose from, and whether they’ve been a part-time or full-time professional athlete. Jaimi Wilson's newly purchased Giant hard-tail for £200 puts her in good stead for avoiding too much privilege tax, but her background in professional football is coming back to haunt her! As is Lee Craigie's fleet of ~14 bikes from a career as a supported MTB rider.

There are no brevet cards or caps, this TdF instead uses chicken eggs as the proof of arrival. Riders have all been given one egg and painted it with their rider number and anything else they’d like to express. They will be required to hand in their egg every morning and take it with them when they leave the next day. Riders' egg carrying designs have mostly been well-thought through and involve some hard shell casing with some padding within. Ironically, Shell (Mike Sheldrake) is the only person to have broken his egg already. What penalty this calls for is yet to be decided but it's not looking good for him.

Here are the other causes for being issued a penalty:

• Skipping a mountain stage: each day has a mountain stage with road alternatives
• Plastic consumption: 10 minute penalty per 1g of single use plastic consumed
• Using public transport or hitching a lift: while encouraged in moments of tortuous riding this race does need to be somewhat fair after all.

And the causes for receiving a time bonus:

• A daily swim for a 20 minute bonus. Riders must be fully submerged.
• A sit down meal at a pub or cafe is rewarded with 30 minute bonus to encourage less single use plastic consumption and putting money into the highland businesses.
• Daily photo competition: 30 minute bonus for the best photo each day.

If this all sounds a wee bit farcical, then I’ve explained it well. Keep an eye out for the results from each day and any good tales from the trails.